


Robbing A Bank

by Maknatuna



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas honey you are still adorable, Crack Fic, Gen, Humor, criminal, drunk team free will, they are drunk off their asses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-13
Updated: 2014-02-13
Packaged: 2018-01-12 05:47:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1182622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maknatuna/pseuds/Maknatuna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What do you do when you’ve planned to rob a bank and your brother brings the wrong bag of weapons?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Robbing A Bank

Team Free Will (aka Dean, Sam, and the fallen angel Castiel) got so shit-faced at a bar in Chicago that they hardly knew where they were or how they got there.

It was August and Chicago was boiling under unbearable heat. People were trying to hide in the shadows or stay at home near AC.

No one remembered whose idea it was, but it sounded so crazy and reckless that everyone agreed. Even the angel.

"Fine, so we meet at Diamond Bank in one hour," Dean slurred and hiccupped.

His companions nodded.

"Yeah, and don't forget about disguise," the elder Winchester added after a few seconds.

"What disguise?" Castiel swayed in his seat.

"Disguise Cas, so no one recognizes you."

"Oh, I see," the angel said with a frown.

"Fine, let's go and get ready."

**15:05**

"Cas, where the hell are you?" Dean hissed into the phone and fidgeted in the old Ford with a cracked front glass.

"I'm on my way. It's just this costume…" The angel panted and cursed.

"Well, hurry up then. I'm gonna kick your and Sam's asses if you don't show up in next two minutes!" Dean didn't ask about Castiel's costume and disconnected the call.

**15:15**

A green Audi with flat tires stopped near the Ford in which Dean was sitting. Dean saw his brother's hair, which looked like a crow's nest, and got out of his car. Sam followed his example. The brothers looked at each other and gasped.

"What the hell, Sam?" Dean gaped at his younger brother.

Sam was wearing a pirate costume with all the accessories: a big golden earring on his left ear, a pistol in his belt, and a hook on his right hand. He had an eye patch as well.

"I don't think anybody will recognize me in this costume." Sam grinned like an idiot, still smashed. "And you think you look better? Look at yourself, Dean." The younger Winchester doubled over in laughter.

"Mine _is_ better, bitch!" Dean gave the middle finger to his brother.

The elder brother was wearing a Batman costume. His eyes flashed angrily from the holes of a headpiece.

"Where the hell is Cas?" Dean paced angrily back and forth, wrapping himself in his black cape.

His question was answered instantly. They heard a jingling and turned around. What they saw stole the air from their lungs.

Castiel was riding a bicycle, but this was not the worst part. He was wearing a pink tutu, medieval chain mail, flippers, and Madam De Pompadour's wig. His face was white with powder, and lips bright red.

"Son of bitch, what is…" Dean groaned and fainted.

**15:30**

Three men burst into the building, yelling at the top of their lungs.

"Freeze! Don't move! This is a robbery!" Dean shouted and fired a gun once. Actually, he tried, but nothing happened.

All the clients and the bank employees stopped and looked at the intruders.

"Go, to the cashier and get the money," Dean hissed at Castiel.

The angel obeyed and staggered away.

Dean "fired" once again. Again, nothing. "Sam, what the fuck is wrong with our guns?" Dean growled and looked at his brother.

"I don't know. I brought them in the bag." Sam shrugged.

"Which bag did you bring?" Dean felt his mouth go dry.

"The brown one, the one that was on the table. Why, what's wrong?" The younger Winchester gaped at his brother.

Dean gave himself a facepalm. "Because you brought the wrong bag, you idiot. These are the toy guns!"

"Shit…."

Meanwhile, Castiel staggered towards the cashier and pointed his gun at her. "Ma'am, uhm… I am sorry to disturb you, but do you mind giving us money?" He rubbed his neck awkwardly.

The woman apparently was experienced in weapons, as she recognized the toy gun and grinned at him. "Yes, I would mind," she screamed and cackled. Castiel startled, not expecting this reaction. "I suggest you get the hell out of here before I spank you, my boy!" She stood up.

Castiel started to retreat slowly.

"Security!" she screamed. "These idiots are armed with the toy guns. Get them!"

"We're fucked," Dean whispered and took steps towards the door.

"Run!" he yelled at his brother and friend, who were retreating as well.

Fake Batman, Captain Silver, and 'I Don't Know Who The Hell I Am' rushed through the door with the bank personnel running after them.

Castiel jumped on his bicycle and was about to take off when Dean sat in front of him.

"Sorry Sammy, you gotta find your own transport. My car's broken."

"You jerk," Sam croaked and ran along with the bicycle with his long, moose legs.

**LATER THAT DAY**

**CNN Breaking News**

"There was a strange incident that happened today at Diamond Bank in Chicago, Illinois. Three men, who the specialists found to be mentally unstable, tried to rob the bank. They were armed with toy guns. Thanks to the cashier, Mrs. Cathy Simpson and her experience, the bank avoided the robbery.

The citizens of Chicago saw a strange show: A french courtesan riding a bicycle with Batman while Captain Silver was jogging alongside.

The Chicago police are still trying to find the criminals. We will revert to you soon with the latest news. Stay with us."

 


End file.
